Overcoming the Fear of the Past
Genesis Chapter 32
Scripture: Genesis 32:9–12
9 Then Jacob prayed, "O God of my father Abraham, God of my father Isaac, O LORD, who said to me, 'Go back to your country and your relatives, and I will make you prosper,' 10 I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have shown your servant. I had only my staff when I crossed this Jordan, but now I have become two groups. 11 Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me, and also the mothers with their children. 12 But you have said, 'I will surely make you prosper and will make your descendants like the sand of the sea, which cannot be counted.' "
Observations and Applications:
There are times that I look back at my past and I am embarrassed by the way I acted and at times the way that I lived. There are situations that I recall where I have treated people so selfishly and have been hurtful with the things that I have said and done. There are times when I feel ashamed how I turned my back on God, my parents and my beliefs and rebelled against them all. Can anyone else relate to this?
It is during these times of reflection that I am so often awed by the mercy and grace of God. When I look at what God has done in my life and still see how far I have to go, I am overwhelmed with the power of God’s love for me! I don’t deserve his goodness and can never earn his favor so I am still moved that he is even mindful of me and would call me his friend.
It has been the case however, that I have often had to revisit my past with its issues, and then go through a learning and healing process with God. When I have had to confront my past I have at times been very fearful of the consequences of revisiting the people I have hurt and the pain my actions have caused them. I wonder if they will forgive me. I am even more distraught to discover how my selfishness has hurt them. While this is often a painful experience it has also proven to be quite helpful and freeing to my soul.
When the Holy Spirit calls us to revisit these times it is the grace of God that is there with us to cause forgiveness, healing, restoration and when needed correction. Jacob found himself in such a place as seen in Genesis chapter 32. It is with an understanding of God’s mercy and grace that Jacob braces himself to meet his brother and confront his past.
When I read this chapter I see how wrestling with the angel of God both humbles Jacob and prepares him to confront his fears. Although painful this event will change Jacobs world. He will actually be freed from his past and able to begin to fulfill his destiny.
Have you sensed that God is calling you to confront your past? Remember the grace of God enables you to not only confront the past but overcome it as well. Remember your past is “past” and it doesn’t have to control your life but can instead, give you experience and wisdom.
Prayer: Thank you Father God for your mercy and grace. May I trust you today to help me deal with yesterday so I may help someone else tomorrow!
